Smile!

I’m reading one of the most innovative books I’ve read in a long time – Stephen King’s 11/22/63. It’s about a man who travels back in time from 2011 to try to stop the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. But that only begins to touch upon the plot of this very complex and extremely well-written novel. There’s a lot more to the book, literally and physically (it’s 850 pages long – but because my Amazon Kindle doesn’t tell me what page I’m on, all I know is that I have currently made it through 39 percent of the novel). But what I like thus far is that good old Stephen has put together a truly unique story, with a daring plot structure that, thus far, works beautifully. If you’re wondering how the plot of a time travel book can be unique, suffice it to say that in 11/22/63 the past doesn’t change without a fight. ‘Nuff said.

But the book triggered a couple of thoughts. One is actually a memory.

I once had dinner with someone who was very closely connected to the assassination. Here’s how it came to pass …

My freshman year at the University of Michigan I roomed in West Quad – which also happened to house a language institute where people from other countries could participate in an intensive program to learn English. We were told that if a student from the institute asked to talk with us – to practice their English – it would be very nice of us to oblige. No one ever asked me.

Until one night.

I had returned from the library just as the dining hall was about to close. I made it through the line, filled my tray with mystery meat and other assorted pieces of grey and beige food and found a seat by myself so that I could continue reading a book that I was racing to finish. Suddenly, I was aware of a presence behind me. Then, in halting, heavily-accented English, a female voice asked, “May I join you for dinner?”

I turned around and there was a young woman in her early- to mid-20s, petite, blonde and very, very pretty. I nodded for her to sit down. She sat and we smiled self-consciously at each other for a few seconds. Then, my mind began reeling.

Why does she look so familiar? Where have I seen this person before?

I just stared at her, trying to make the connection. She must have thought that she’d asked a mute to help her learn English.

Finally, I came to my senses, extended my hand, and said, “Good evening. My name is Larry.” She reached out, took my hand in hers, smiled slightly and said one word: “Marina.”

I’m sure my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. My expression must have reflected the fact that I suddenly knew the identity of my dinner partner.

It was clear: She knew that I knew.

She nodded her head once, almost imperceptibly, as if to say, “Yep. That’s me.” The ice was broken and I enjoyed the next hour helping Marina Oswald, Lee Harvey’s widow, with her English.

The rest is a blur. I think we passed one another a few times that semester and nodded hello. Then one day she was gone. The thing I remember most clearly is walking up the stairs to my room that night thinking: She is so much better looking in person than she was on television! But what else would you expect a red-blooded male college freshman to remember?

The other thought that popped into my head as I was reading 11/22/63 is this:

Only one witness to the assassination captured it on film.

It was a Dallas dress manufacturer named Abraham Zapruder. His hand-held 8mm piece of film is the only clear record of what happened that day in Dallas. In the years since, the film has been analyzed, digitized, scrutinized, upsized and downsized again and again as serious students and nut-case assassination conspiracy theorists sought clues proving – or disproving – that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone on that awful November day.

Flash forward to today.

If something like what happened in Dallas were to happen now – God forbid – in full view of hundreds of witnesses, how many still and video images do you think would be captured? The police would have a record of the act from every angle imaginable!

Because today, everyone is a filmmaker. There haven’t been many newsworthy events this past year that weren’t captured on video by someone. CNN.com screams, Are you there? Send us your video! I can think of a couple – and they stand out for me for just that reason: There was no video coverage of them.

So, what does this mean? For one thing it means that these days, if you do something you shouldn’t, chances are someone’s going to preserve your act for posterity. This isn’t all that hard to understand … is it? But we still see video of movie stars passing out on the sidewalk; athletes snorting coke at parties; bad guys robbing convenience stores; kids beating up on one another – you name it. All on camera. Don’t you just sometimes want to scream: You’re being videotaped, you moron! What are you thinking?!

Look at what happened to Gisele Bündchen after the Super Bowl. What was probably intended as a private comment to her friend about why New England’s loss wasn’t entirely her husband’s fault was instead immortalized forever by some Giants fan with a smartphone, and BLAMMO! Do these people view their entire lives through a viewfinder? Do they ever put them down? What’s the moral here?

There used to be a popular show called Candid Camera. Some of you might remember it. Well today, the whole world is Candid Camera.

I looked up the words to the show’s theme song. Some people today might want to keep them in mind:

When it’s least expected – you’re elected

You’re the star today.

Smile!

You’re on Candid Camera!

With a hocus-pocus

You’re in focus.

It’s your lucky day.

Smile!

You’re on Candid Camera!

Perhaps the jingle should be updated for 2012 …

Before you leave the good time,

You are online

Your pic’s getting viewed.

You’d have never shown it,

Had you known it.

Now you’re on YouTube,

Frown!

You’re on Ev’ry Camera!

Until next time …